


GavinoSneeze

by plaidshirt



Series: Let's Gay! [1]
Category: Rooster Teeth/Achievement Hunter RPF
Genre: Confessions, Established Relationship, M/M, Sorry Not Sorry, mentions of dan, secret fetish, swimmy bevs
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-06-27
Updated: 2014-07-08
Packaged: 2018-02-06 09:55:01
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 3,336
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1853698
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/plaidshirt/pseuds/plaidshirt
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Michael has a little bit of a secret, a fetish really, that he's afraid Gavin will hate him for. Call him a freak. And he loves Gavin, so he keeps it a secret for as long as he can.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I'm not even sorry for this. Shoutout to my friend Alex, for sort of encouraging this, and Kal, for not believing this was for a friend.
> 
> Also, my great friend Duncan just did an audio for this chapter! Check it out and read along to the sultry sounds of his voice. https://soundcloud.com/plaidshirt/gavino-sneeze-chapter-1

If there was one thing in the world that Michael Jones knew, it was how absolutely lucky he was. He had everything he could ever want, a job where he played video games, an amazing boyfriend, enough RedBull to drown in, the list goes on. Michael was undeniably extremely lucky, blessed even.

 

That being said, it didn't necessarily mean Michael was happy or satisfied all the time. Most of his job revolved around his ability to get angry, which he was phenomenal at. Even Gavin, his boyfriend who he loved more than anything in the world, had a terrible habit of getting on his nerves from time to time (most of the time), this being primarily because Gavin thought it was not only cute but also funny when Michael “rage quit” on stuff.

 

Gavin, in all actuality, was the cause of most of Michael's rage. Sure, the slow cunt in front of him at the grocery store pissed him off, and yeah getting cut off in traffic really made Michael grit his teeth, but Gavin was behind the majority of Michael's anger issues. Gavin loved saying stupid, asinine things that made Michael supremely upset. He loved squawking and squeaking at the absolute worst times. More than anything, Gavin loved teasing Michael, even when he didn't know he was doing it.

 

Gavin was far from conservative, but Michael was sure his _kink_ would be far more than what Gavin would be comfortable with, but with Gavin flaunting it around all the time, Michael didn't know how much longer he could hide it. You see, Michael was very _very_ into noses. It was weird and uncommon, but Michael couldn't deny that noses turned him on.

 

More than anything, Michael loved sneezing. There was just something about the way someone looked after a sneeze, and there was something wonderful about the way a sneeze felt. He loved it. It was like an orgasm, but just... Different. It was still a release, it still gave Michael pleasure, but it always left him wanting more.

 

Now in the middle of summer, all sorts of mold and pollens in the air, people sneezing all around him, Michael didn't know how much longer he could keep his secret a secret, especially when his boyfriend had the single most attractive nose Michael had ever seen in his life. Sure, it was a little crooked, no one was perfect, but God, Gavin came close. All Michael ever wanted to do was to touch it, not in just the way when their noses bumped while kissing, or when Gavin leaned into him. No, Michael wanted to feel Gavin's nose, from the inside out.

 

But Michael was painfully aware of how weird and far off any chance of achieving his dream was, so he kept to the occasional brush of his nose and his progressively more common shower-time fantasies. Michael was terrified Gavin would find out though, and then what would he do? What would happen when Gavin became aware of Michael's alarming kink? He'd surely break up with him, there's no way they'd have hot nose based sex, no, that only happens in half-baked fanfiction.

 

Michael stayed in the hypothetical sneeze-kink closet, hoping that he could avoid telling Gavin for as long as possible. But every time Gavin sneezed, he bit his lip, every time he blew his nose, he stifled a moan. There was no way he could hide it much longer... He needed to tell Gavin, and he resolved to do so as soon as possible.

 

It was a particularly hot day when Michael woke up, feeling more confident in himself than he normally did. Today, he decided, would be the day he told Gavin. Today would be the day he would make it or break it.

 

It was later that afternoon while Michael and Gavin were having some swimmy bevs that Michael decided he needed to do something right this very second before he got cold feet about anything.

 

“Hey Gavin,” he began, “you'd love me no matter what, right?” he asked, a tinge of nervousness edging at his voice.

 

“Yeah, love, of course,” Gavin replied, not skipping a beat. “Why do you ask?”

 

“Well, I've um, got something I need to tell you,” he began, his voice shaking. God, he was scared of fucking this up. Gavin and his gargantuan nose were the best things to ever happen to him.

 

At this point, Gavin was a bit nervous. Had Michael cheated on him? Surely not, surely he hadn't done that... Maybe he just needed to tell him something? God, Gavin hoped he wasn't a republican. He wasn't sure he could handle that in a relationship. “Sure, Micoo, what is it?” he asked, feeling a bit nervous himself.

 

“I'm.... I've got a weird, um, fetish I guess?” Michael began, feeling bit queasy as he spoke.

 

Gavin sighed, a fetish he could deal with. As long as he didn't have to moisten any bread, Gavin was nearly confident he could handle whatever Michael was about to throw at him. “Sure, sure, what is it then?” Gavin asked, feeling relieved that Michael wasn't cheating on him or secretly watching Fox News.

 

Michael sucked in a sharp breath. “I like... Um... Noses. I have a thing for noses. I pop a boner whenever you sneeze. I think its, um, hot...” Michael said all at once, his face feeling like it was on fire, him confident that it was bright red.

 

Gavin was confused to say the least, but not necessarily uncomfortable with the idea that his boyfriend liked sneezing. “So...” he said, not sure where to begin, “are you just dating me for my nose then?” he asked, realizing this was an actual concern now. Sure, he knew Dan had a thing for cross eyed girls, and he knew he would date girls solely on the crossedness of their eyes, but Michael wasn't that shallow, right?

 

It was Michael's turn to sigh now, relieved Gavin's immediate response wasn't to just be disgusted. “No, god, of course not,” Michael laughed.

 

Gavin smiled. “So, what does that mean? You Just want me to sneeze while we're bumming? Or what?” Gavin asked, his phrasing crude but his intentions true.

 

“Well, um, actually yeah, I guess...” Michael said, I'd also like to, ya know, touch it I guess?” Michael knew his face was still bright red, and there was no sign that it was going to stop being such for a while.

 

Gavin nodded, it sounded reasonable to him. “Do you want to like, stick things in it?” he asked Michael, honestly curious and not completely turned off to the idea.

 

Michael's eyebrows went up in surprise. “I mean, yeah, that'd be perfect if you're okay with it Gav...” he said, biting his lip a bit.

 

Gavin knew that was his cue to get suave as he possibly could in this situation. Slightly buzzed as it was, he was feeling pretty confident in himself and his sexy nose. “I think I can arrange for that,” he whispered in Michael's ear, nuzzling the other's neck, making sure his nose made contact as he left kisses along his neck and collarbone.

 

Michael couldn't help but let out a moan, he couldn't believe how well this had gone, almost as if it were orchestrated by some omnipotent author writing the love story of their life. “Let's take this back into my room, yeah?” he asked, biting back another moan.

 

“Sure thing love,” Gavin replied, walking back inside and hurrying up the stairs with Michael, both in a rush. As soon as they were in, they slammed the door behind them, and Gavin continued making marks on Michael's wet skin, still damp from their swim. Making their way to Michael's room, Gavin pushed Michael back onto his bed, dragging the sopping wet boxers down off his legs with a splat that would have made Gavin gag under any other circumstances, but he was far too into this to even care now.

 

Gavin pulled off his own trunks, tossing them off in the corner. “What do you want me to do love, I'm all ears,” he smiled, looking down at Michael, his face completely flushed.

 

“Anything you want, however far you want to go, I'm up for it,” he said softly, a knot of anxiety and excitement and arousal in his stomach.

 

Gavin nodded and looked down to Michael's member. It was small, another thing Michael had always been self conscious about. A 'micropenis' he had called it. Gavin just thought it was cute, and now it's small size might come in handy. But not yet, Gavin had other things in mind first.

 

Gavin grabbed the lube that was conveniently near him, and out of Michael's view, he put some on his nose. Without warning, he leaned down and shoved the length of his nose in Michael's butt hole. Michael let out a lewd moan, it was everything he wanted and more. Gavin rammed his nose in him over and over, hitting Michael's spot every time as his nose was the perfect length.

 

Michael was tensing up, and Gavin knew he was close, so he withdrew. Michael let out an annoyed huff. “Why'd you stop?” he asked Gavin, a tinge of his infamous rage in his voice.

 

“Fuck my nose.” Gavin replied simply. Michael's jaw fell slack as Gavin lined up his pre-lubed nose with Michael's micropenis.

 

“Are you... Sure?” Michael asked. Gavin nodded. Michael didn't need to be told twice. He slowly pushed his tiny cock into Gavin's right nostril, noticing it fit in perfectly. Michael let out a moan, it was everything he had dreamed of and more.

 

He was slow about it at first, but Michael gradually picked up speed and plunged into Gavin's nose faster and faster. Gavin himself was even getting into it and began stroking his own length to the pace of Michael's thrusts. “Gav... I'm gonna...” before Michael could finish his sentence, he finished himself in Gavin's nose, ejaculating into Gavin's sinuses. Not long after, Gavin himself came to the feeling of hot jizz in his nose.

 

“That... Wasn't bad at all,” Gavin said, wiping his dirty hand off on his wet swim trunks as he got a kleenex to blow out his nose.

 

Michael laughed. “That was perfect, thanks Gav,” he replied as Gavin blew out the ejaculate that hadn't already dripped out of his nose. “But Gav, if you keep blowing your nose like that... I'm gona be ready to go again,” Michael said with a wink.

 


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this is just a little exposition/teaser for chapter three which is going to be so painful for me to write.

The past year of Michael and Gavin's relationship had been by far the best since the nose was introduced to the bedroom. They had both been far more satisfied than they ever thought possible. As consequence, Gavin's nose had grown to twice it's size, which only turned Michael on more when he thought about putting his tiny dick in it. Even Gavin had become more turned on by the thought of being nasally penetrated.

 

But they were young and adventurous, and both had become progressively more and more bored with the same old dick in nose routine. They mutually decided it was high time to add some pizazz to their relationship, and decided to invite someone new in. There were so many choices, too many juicy bods that they worked with, and this is where our character's conflict comes in, because I was told every good story needs conflict and if I just wrote disgusting porn that would be shoddy workmanship on my part. Thus our heroes argue.

 

“Gavin, look, I'm just saying that Kerry is an obvious choice!” Michael said, trying to keep his voice down and his anger to a minimum. “Sure, his nose isn't as big as your's, but it's still impressive!”

 

Gavin scoffed at this suggestion. “And I'm saying Kerry's an ugly little minge pot!” he shook his head in disbelief. “I'm just saying we know Ray, I'm sure he'd be into it!”

 

“Gavin, Ray's too scrawny, your massive schlong would break him like a twig!”

 

“Yeah?! Well Kerry would break our bed like a twig!”

 

Michael sighed, glancing at the clock. “We can talk about this later, we need to leave or we'll be late for work.” Gavin huffed, annoyed, but nodded all the same, following Michael out of their now shared house to Michael's car because let's just infer that Gavin still can't drive. Getting in, Gavin shut the car door a little harder than usual. Michael rolled his eyes in response. “Gavin, the right person will come to us, I'm sure of it. This story wouldn't have a plot if things didn't work out in the most convenient way for the lazy author!”

 

Gavin had no choice but to nod, knowing in his heart that Michael was right. They drove to work in silence, Gavin thinking about the possible people he and Michael could include in their weird sexual escapades. Ray was still Gavin's favorite option, but he began considering others.

 

Ryan? No, he was probably into something weird like BDSM. Freak. Jack? He was married, unlike Michael who is totally single. Geoff? Griffon would probably be okay with his participation, but Gavin had seen that nob, and it didn't look sanitary. He began thinking of people who weren't in AH. Barbra was pretty, but he was far too gay for that. Their new employee Meg was also pretty sexy, but he knew he would never be involved with her, not in a million years. Monty worked too hard to have a sex life, Caleb was always injured because of that dumb frisbee, Miles was too... Miles... The reasons Gavin wouldn't bang people in the office went on and on, then he came to him. The one person he was sure Michael wouldn't say no to. The perfect compromise.

 

Gavin took out his phone and sent a quick text. Reading his response, he looked to Michael. “We're both on the podcast tonight,” he said, trying to hide his excitement. Michael groaned, but nodded. “Burnie's gone tonight too, so it's just gona be a three person podcast tonight.” Michael again nodded in acceptance.

 

For Gavin, the day seemed to drag on, far too slow. When it was nearing time for the podcast, he couldn't help but let his excitement show through. As he and Michael walked over to the set together, Gavin practically bounced. Michael assumed he had drank a tad too much Red Bull earlier and didn't worry about it. It was only when Michael walked onto the set of the podcast and realized it was the wrong day to film and no one else was there.

 

“Gavin, what's this?” he asked as Gavin lead him over to the podcast couch which had been sprinkled with rose petals.

 

Suddenly the podcast lights flipped on, illuminating the studio. Sitting completely naked in his chair, Gus smiled up at Michael. Standing up, he got close to Michael's face.“Today's podcast is sponsored by astroglide personal lubricant,” he whispered huskily in Michael's ear. “And we're gona try some free samples.”

 

**TO BE CONTINUED**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i hate myself so much. also hey, if anyone wants to helpme brainstorm some ideas for chapter three that'd be cool. add me on skype at neongreenfish . if you wana talk about how fucked up this was or propose to me that's cool too.


	3. The Conclusion

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1HbFRI1PXis&index=4&list=FLTH5kL0UaYLYlEFY6qhUP6w Please listen to this it makes it better I swear

Michael gasped, completely taken aback by this unforeseeable turn of events. “G-Gus?!?” Michael stuttered, unable to wrap his mind around the idea of doin the dirty thing with Gustavo Sorolo. Suddenly, Michael felt himself be pushed back, landing on the brand new black podcast couch. Michael let out a gasp again, sounding like some weird pornstar who made way too many surprised noises in the badly scripted foreplay before the hot, hot sexy time.

 

Michael felt a pair of strong hands unbutton his pants and begin pulling them off while yet another pair of hands pulled his shirt up over his head. It seemed like in the blink of an eye Michael was laying in only his boxers, almost ready for some amazing nasal penetration.

 

Gavin pulled out a bottle of lube from seemingly nowhere and slathered it inside his nose, preparing himself for Michael's tiny member. Gus, already naked and ready to go, took some of the lube he had previously mentioned that they would be testing and slathered it on his own hard man erection thing. Pulling off Michael's boxers, Gus jammed three of his slippery fingers into Michael's loose anus hole. He barely had to stretch Michael any, given that he took Gavin's wee wee weapon in his butt on a regular basis.

 

Suddenly, Gus plunged into Michael's butt with no warning. Michael let out a super slutty moan as his anus was plundered by the Mexican man's big burrito. Gavin took this as an opportunity to slide his nose over Michael's tiny cock, only furthering Michael's stimulation. Michael let out louder moans, making him appear even more like a stupid porn star bitch. Unknowingly, Michael was being filmed, and boy was he putting on a show. The podcast cameras were all on, not broadcasting live, but instead just recording the actions the three men were doing. Gavin and Gus knew of course, but Michael was none the wiser that he was being deposited into the two men's wank bank as all this jazz was going down.

 

Anyway back to the juicy stuff.

 

Michael's anus was being stretched and basically ripped to shreds but in a sexy way while he was thrusting into Gavin's left nostril. Michael's mouth was open mid-moan when suddenly he felt his boyfriend's knob at his face. Gavin wanted him to suck it, and Michael wasn't going to leave his boi unsatisfied. He took Gavin's whole thirteen inches into his mouth and miraculously deep throated this giagantic dick without choking or teeth. Michael's mouth sure was something special.

 

It was now Gavin's turn to let out a slutty moan as his meat wand was enveloped by the warm, demanding chasm of Michael's mouth. Gus continued plunging into Michael and Michael involuntatilly thusted upwards over and over, striking into Gavin's nose. Gavin could feel his stomach knot up, he knew he was so so close, as did Gus. Gus and Gavin were both so close to orgasm because Michael's body was perf for frickin, but Michael himself knew he was about to splooge. It was just too much stimulation at once.

 

Gavin was the first to come, Michael's talented mouth bringing him to his peak. As he came, he pulled his nose up from Michael's cock and let out the mightiest sneeze he ever experienced in his life. He let loose a stream of air and mucus, which splattered over Michael's genitals and abdomen as he simultaneously let his load free in Michael's mouth.

 

Michael swallowed all that Gavin gave him, cumming harder than he ever did in his life. The sneeze was so powerful Michael came not once but three times simultaneously even though that's not biologically possible. His anal muscles tightened around Gus' hard thingy, causing Gus to loose control of his juices and filled Mikey up with his hot stuff. They all collapsed on the couch, unable to say anything for a long moment. Michael let out a laugh.

 

“Wot are you on about?” Gavin asked, sounding so overly British that I have to type his accent in a little bit.

 

“Just thinking... You should change your gamertag to GavinoSneeze.” Michael said with a giggle, like the dumb cunt he is.

 

“He can't do that,” Gus said, being the bearer of bad news. “That's already the title of this fanfiction.”

 

Michael and Gavin nodded in agreement, realizing this whole set of events was fake, written by a fifteen year old girl in her bedroom. If only it really happened, if only all their wildest, completely real, nose fetish dreams could come true, then maybe all of Rooster Teeth would be a happier place. But here we are, at the end of this fictional road. Maybe the sneeze will live on for another day in readers' hearts, but the author knows she can never sneeze again without remembering the terrible creation she brought to the Rooster Teeth fandom.

 

God bless America. God bless Kleenex.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> That's it folks. I'll probably write more bad fanfiction. Add me on skype @ neongreenfish if you wana be involved in anything of the sort or just be my friend. I'm lonely.

**Author's Note:**

> Hey! Little update, guess who got posted on WTFfanfiction!! (it me) I'm super happy about it and big thanks to whoever submitted me!!


End file.
